Take 30

At the beginning of November I came across this TED talk about doing a 30 day challenge. The objective is to take consistent action for one month.

Even though I already have a big set of goals I've been working on in 2012, I decided to add the challenge -- and make it about working on 'all the other things that never seem to get done.'

I called my challenge 'Take 30.' I set a goal to do 15 minutes per day and I named each 15 minute session a '15er.'

Persistence in Creating New Plans

"The majority of men meet with failure because of their lack of persistence in creating new plans to take the place of those that fail."
-Napoleon Hill


I'm going to be posting this quote on facebook a little later today. I love it because it identifies one reason that so many people fail at their goals.

It's not because their goal wasn't worthwhile.

It's not that they don't really want it.

It's because they take the first setback and make it permanent when goal achievement is really about realizing we may not know all there is to know about reaching an outcome -- but with persistence we will find our way through. Everything before that is feedback.

We should use it to stay on track.

My 30 Day Challenge

"It only takes thirty days to change your life."

So I have been working on some significant goals this year. Still I decided to try the 30 Day Challenge prior to the new year myself. After-all, there's always more one can accomplish given the time and interest.

[Time can sometimes be an issue, but -- for me  -- interest never is. In fact, it's interest that gets me busy on something new that's good, but still off-track. But that's a discussion for another day.]

Quit Quitting

Recently I came across someone in an online forum who said she was going to quit trying because every time she tried, she quit. Hmmm.

To me, there is more to be gained by continuing to try EVEN IF you find you're often quitting. From my perspective, to quit for good is a for-sure failure, whereas every attempt, even if unsuccessful, is simply another learning experience.

I have had a very busy year. I set some goals at the start and I haven't done all that I set out to do, but I have certainly completed a great deal. In fact, I can't believe how far I've come -- in less than one year. There have been switchbacks, obstacles, detours, setbacks, frustrations, insecurities, and much more, but ... what progress I've made!

At the same time, in a busy day/month/year/life, it's been hard to update the rest of you in a timely manner. Doesn't matter. I'm going to quit quitting.

Even if I am forever starting over.

Off the Radar

Ever notice how people say they're going to do something and then you never hear anything about it again?

I admit to having had some challenges with keeping consistent on my physical goals so far. And, on top of that, there's just so much to do in a day that it's hard to get the workouts done AND blog about it! (Do you feel sorry for me yet? ... How about now? ... Now?)

I did have a friend's dog for part of April and during that time I was walking four times a day for a total of two hours per day. I did that in keeping with the dog's regular workout schedule. (You should see the muscles on this dog -- in addition to the walking, I'm sure it's lifting at least three hours a day!)

At the end of April, I heard a late-nite infomercial for a workout program that would ...

Physical Goals: Bare Whys

When you set a goal, you've got to know why you want it.

You can't achieve something that you are so-so about, or don't really know what you're going to get out of it. The goal has to be clear and so does the why.

A while back, I wrote out my whys for my physical goals. I had waaaay less than 100 reasons for wanting these goals ... and those in the know say you should have as many as possible and at least one hundred.

So I promised to revisit my whys. I even had a few good suggestions on my facebook page. But when I attempted to go back, I felt I was really stretching for something that didn't exist. My whys are my whys. I'm pretty clear on them. Anything more is just filling space.

So, as it stands now, I'm leaving my whys as bare whys. Naked in their honesty. I will go back to touch them up a bit, but I'm not going to add any filler.

Fluff belongs on Fluffy. The cat. Or in the vacuum.

This or something better. :)

A Finer Way to Fail

Shuuussssh. Do. not. say. a. word.

No matter how tempting it is, keep. your. mouth. shut.

That's what Derek Sivers has to say about goals in this 3 minute TED talk, as shared by the folks at FinerMinds.

Well, I'm still learning, so of course I've done it wrong. Apparently, by sharing my goals here, or anywhere for that matter, I'm setting myself up for failure.

I had thought that by declaring publicly, I would have to 'come through with it.' But their experiments indicate otherwise and I do admit my progress is slower than I would like.

Mr Tall Dark and Incredibly Wrong

He's tall, he's dark, he's handsome. He's funny. He's smart. He's part Italian and part Persian, has a gorgeous accent, and  comes from Dubai, the city of glitter.

Did I mention he lives here?

Wouldn't you know that before I'm even fully engulfed in my physical goal, another goal shows up. I haven't even put it in writing yet -- a factor all the experts say you must do. Yes, I want a relationship, too.

For our first date a few weeks back he asked that I wear a little black dress with cleavage and leg, Chanel eau verte, and fuck me boots (ecusez-moi pour ma français). 

The fm boots also had to be black. 

I had pearls, though he would of preferred Tiffany's. He had other requests as well -- but let's not get distracted in details.

Physical Goals: My Whys

Why?

It's an age-old question. And one the self-help gurus recommend you answer for each of your goals. Apparently, the more answers you have, the more likely you are to achieve your goals; in fact, the strongest goal-setters may have as many as 100 reasons -- or more -- for why they want a particular goal!

I don't have that many. I don't know if that makes my physical goals weak. Never-the-less, here they are:

My Overall Goal Plan

I recently came across a poster on facebook that said:

My Goal:

Imagine It

Go After It

Achieve It

This inspired me to think about my own 'overall' life goal. With thanks to Mermaids-of-the-Lake, whom I hope you will visit and give lots of likes, I am adopting this goal, with some small exceptions:

Pushing an Elephant up a Mountain

Walk before running. That's what Brian Tracy says about goal-setting.

This is comforting to hear because the process of achievement seems so slow. Like most people, I want results -- um -- like, yesterday! (As an aside I also don't want it to take too much effort.)

Don't expect much, do I? <sheepish grin>

This is the challenge of goal-setting -- wanting too much too fast. It usually results in running a marathon three days in a row and then dropping the process altogether.

Some authors reinforce this by saying you must have all areas of your life sorted out and be working on each at an even pace (see the goal wheel) to be a success. You should want a perfectly round (balanced) wheel.

Realistically, how does that happen in a modern busy life? I get distracted and overwhelmed just thinking about it! If I had perfect balance already, I wouldn't need to be goal-setting.

Allan Wilson, in his book The Quick and Tiny Guide to a Great Big Life, says that working on too many areas at the same time can be like...

Physical Goals 2012: A Perfect Fit

Wow! I knew this already, but somehow making my intentions public creates even more awareness that time flies and it's challenging to make regular progress!

This is my first attempt to write out my Physical vision and goals. This is also the primary goal I am working on for 2012.

My vision:

I have a fit, healthy, energy-filled, beautiful, sexy, attractive and youthful, mind, body and soul. I turn heads when I walk by. It is difficult for people to know how old I am and, no matter how old I get, they generally assume I am in my early to mid-thirties. I feel this way also. I look after myself in a manner that ensures I will remain this way until and beyond the time when science and technology solve the issues of illness, aging and death.

A Case of Creative Distraction?

“If one advances confidently in the direction of one's dreams, and endeavors to live the life which one has imagined, one will meet with a success unexpected in common hours.” -Henry David Thoreau

It's been several weeks since my first post for WallFlower Blooms. It took quite a bit of effort to get started on this personal goal challenge and, like any project, it's tempting to wonder whether the initial 'bloom' has worn off now that it's time to get down to the nitty gritty.

The Goal Wheel: Does it work for you?

Many well known self-improvement gurus, such as Zig Ziglar and Anthony Robbins, use something called The Wheel of Life for mapping out goals.

This is how it goes: You draw a circle, then cut the circle into multiple (roughly 8 or 10) 'slices of pie.' Then you label each of the 'spokes' (edges of the slices) with one area of your life (goal). You draw a dot somewhere on each spoke to represent where you are (on achieving the goal) between the middle of the circle (no progress at all) and the outside of the circle which is presumably 'perfection.'

Once you've marked your 'points' for each category, you are supposed to draw a line between each -- ending up with something that often resembles a flat tire (unless you are perfectly balanced in all areas of your life). This is supposed to tell you where your life is out of balance and where you need to equal things out. [See: Zig Ziglar]

As much as I admire Tony Robbins and these other great achievers, I have to admit there is something that just doesn't work for me on this Wheel of Life.

Fear: Getting past the first post

I've been pondering how hard it was getting past the first post and how it's often the case that just getting started is one of the biggest challenges.

Of course, I've had to do other things to initiate my personal goal plan, but this is the one that took it public. What was it about this step that was so hard?

Getting honest, I realized it was fear. But I didn't know why. Was it fear of failure? Fear of success? Or something else?

Worse than that, I was allowing this fear to drag on and on, and time was passing. If I couldn't ever start, my whole life would go by without going after my truest most deepest dreams. And that would be really sad.

Making the Leap: Re-committing to Me

I've always loved goals and goal-setting. I love the fresh start that comes with milestones like a new year or a birthday -- or any other moment with the potential for reflection and re-commitment. When a dream sparks, it seems like anything is possible.

I've already accomplished some important goals. My education. My career. Getting through some serious life challenges. Even so, I've realized I've often been a wallflower in my own life. Afraid to live full-out. Afraid to go after my truest most biggest most scariest dreams. Life just has a way of ... getting in the way.

So here I am, doing something even scarier -- committing, in public, to (re)discovering and going after those dreams.